If there is one message I would spread to the ends of the internet, it would be this one: you are not alone.
When I first had the idea for A Mama Friend, and posted a few times on my Instagram account in 2020, this was the topic of the very first post I shared.
It was what I needed to hear then (only nine months postpartum with undiagnosed PPA during a global pandemic)…
…and what I needed to hear when I came back to A Mama Friend again (postpartum with baby number two trying to find a way back to myself)…
…and it is still what I need to hear now on the days I feel like I am moving from one challenging moment to another until I finally close my eyes to rest, not knowing how soon it will be before I wake up to comfort one of my babies overnight.
Motherhood can feel lonely at times
Even if you know there are other mamas out there who would understand and relate to your experience, maybe you aren’t connected to them yet or maybe you don’t feel comfortable sharing with friends who are in a different stage of life or motherhood…
…or maybe you have been secretly judging yourself for not meeting your expectations and staying silent about your experience because you think you might actually be the only one struggling (← that’s not true, by the way).
So, if you are reading this today, let me remind you:
You are not alone when you feel isolated or lonely.
You are not alone when you experience conflicting feelings of joy for your season of life and grief for how everything has changed.
You are not alone when you feel exhausted and you are awake for the fourth time feeding or comforting your sweet babe.
You are not alone struggling to make sense of your changing identity.
You are not alone wondering why this seems so hard for you and why everyone else seems to have it figured out. (There is more nuance to this, but the truth is others don’t actually have it figured out, even if it appears that way from the outside.)
Bottom Line: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
But what do you do when you feel alone in motherhood?
You know yourself best, but here are a few ideas:
Slow your breathing. (Slow, deep breaths remind us we are safe and help to complete our stress cycles.)
Repeat kind words to yourself. (Think: You are not alone. You are enough. You can do hard things. This is just right now.)
Text or call a friend. (Shine a bright light on the shadows over you and open up to someone you trust.)
Refer to a relatable parenting resource like a podcast, blog, or social media account for reminders that you are not alone. (Be careful with this one! Only consume the content that makes you feel seen. If this feels overwhelming, STOP.)
Find support for this season by joining a local postpartum group or working with a postpartum doula, matrescence coach, or therapist with training in perinatal mental health. (You can start your search for support at Postpartum Support International).
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It’s been adapted from my monthly(ish) email, The Friendly Hello. Subscribe here to receive mindset shifts, early motherhood insights, and behind-the-scenes shares directly to your inbox!
